31st Dec 2016 – Weekend Summary

New year is fast approaching! I’ve had a lovely Christmas with my family. We go to my mums every Christmas and this year was no different. I really haven’t talked about family and my cancer diagnosis, I’m going to post a seperate one on this subject. 

Christmas Day went well all the usual things, Christmas present exchange, Christmas dinner arguments ha ha….. but everyone knew this could possibly be my last and so the day felt different and to be honest I can’t explain the atmosphere but it was nice. 

We had dinner around 4.30pm, earlier than usual as I get very tired and it happened, I was ready for home and in bed by 7pm. After Christmas Day I had a couple of my marathon sleep days 14hrs+. I’m starting to get used to these types of days, it comes with the territory. 

I’ve started back walking this week as I had a break for Christmas, boy am I sore!! Stretching in the morning times as this releases my back pain and my mountain of pain killers and later in the day my 20 to 30min walk. One of my Christmas presents, yes I got more than one 😂 was an activity tracker watch. I love it, so many stats which has motivated me. I got a new iPad from my two sons which I absolutely love and I’m using it now to write this post now. 

What I have noticed this week is I haven’t had as many hot flushes or headaches, they did say these may subside over time, I really hope this happens. It’s been not a bad week as far as my Cancer goes and although there is a new year approaching, I’m not really thinking about this because who knows what will happen, look what’s happened this year, so many celebrities dying and President Trump😭😭😳😳 I very much live in the present moment and that is all that matters.

The picture above is of my guardian angel my young niece got me for Christmas, she is so thoughtful and I will treasure this till I die!

Depression, Anxiety and Cancer

             
It might be an unusual thing to talk about on New Years Eve but I think it can fit into the purpose of a New Year. The purpose of celebrating the incoming year is to promise your self or others that you will do or say certain things that make the coming year a more positive and welcoming year. 

The New Year is all centred around positivity, making things better, being the best you can be, making a brighter future. Unfortunately when you have a terminal cancer prognosis like me that all goes out the window. I don’t know the figures but I would say that most people who suffer from cancer have depression, anxiety and require medication. 

I’m no different than anyone else and suffer these things and require medication and the medication does help to bring you to level of sanity, but as people around the world will look forward to many different things when their New Year arrives I too will bring in the New year, but my New Year will be to make sure I stay alive! Not will I be alive, but to stay alive! No one can guarantee they will be alive the next day or next year, but what they can do is to do everything they can to stay alive.

What I mean is I will be looking after my health, fitness, diet and most importantly my mental health. Just like the celebrating of a New Year I will be looking to keep a positive attitude each day I’m alive and making the most of each day I am on this earth. So if it’s one day I’ve left or 1 year I want each of those days to be the most positive days I’ve ever had. 

Life is precious, absorb all life gives you, cast out negativity when it arises, live for now because only God knows the future. Most importantly love you family!

So for anyone who suffers Cancer, depression and anxiety, think of it this way:

A New Year is a renewing of things/thoughts from negativity to positivity and like most of us we don’t stick to the plan!

With Cancer the bringing in of a New Year is one more day on this earth, that you have an opportunity to renew your mind in keeping positive and it to be the most awesome day you have ever had 😁😎

 I know I will be sticking to my plan, will you??

Side effects

​

I thought I would share with you the side effects I’m experiencing. The treatment I’m on is hormone therapy and its side effects are as follows 

1.  Hot flushes 
2. Fatigue 
3. Weight gain 
4. Muscle weakness
5. You probably don’t want  to hear this one but best honest. ‘Shrinkage of Penis and testicles, this is due to the treatment stops production of testosterone as testosterone feeds the cancer.

Together with side effects from my radiotherapy to the head, memory loss, coordination and balance issues I’m having a great time 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

If the treatment keeps working they are worth it!!

Exercise and Cancer

I want talk about exercise and Cancer. I think I have some sort of authority on this subject as I have been a fitness instructor for the past 25yrs! Exercise and a healthy lifestyle will never stop you getting cancer but what it will do is reduce your risk for some cancers and if you are unfortunate to get cancer like me ‘Bad Luck’ then you will be in a very good place to fight it!!

If you have cancer one thing that is  difficult to deal with is fatigue. Now this is where people will have a lot of confusion and end up in a viscous circle. Exercise reduces the fatigue, yes you heard it makes things better. Now from experience with fatigue the last thing you want to do go out for walk etc…. but believe me if you don’t your fatigue will only get worse. 

The important thing is not to do too much as I have been learning over the past 6mths. I’ve over done and ended up in bed for 3 days with marathon sleeps 14 hrs +. A little bit everyday i.e. 5min, 10 min walks etc…. I went from training 4 times per week in the gym, cycling to work everyday to absolutely nothing i.e. 2 stone heavier, totally unfit, muscle weakness and depressed. I’ve been turning that around and I can now walk most days for 20mins attend physio once per for a  gym session treatment on my back and working to keep a positive outlook by learning to life in the present.

I could write all day about this subject, if you wish to ask a question feel free to contact me?

Bye Bye 2016

It’s nearly that time where we leave behind one year and introduce another! What a year it has been, from many superstars dying to my Cancer returning!

The emotions I’ve had this year are hard to put down on paper but range from suicide to extreme joy and everything else in between. I’ve maintained a positive attitude throughout and although I didn’t have strong faith in God before I have grown in my faith. A positive attitude and a strong faith I believe is what I can do to stay alive and the doctors can do their part by providing the treatment. In partnership this is the perfect combination and I believe this is why I am still alive, even though they told me I wouldn’t see the summer of 2016!

There has been so many changes in 2016 and some of them is my appearance, losing my hair, gaining 2 stone, memory loss, fatigue and balance problems, but this is nothing compared to being in a box! I would suffer these for 20 yrs than be in a box under the ground and this is why I am determined to beat this awful disease. 

Sept – Dec 2016

This period of time has been the most stable for me. Side affects are there but manageable, my Cancer is stable, brain tumours have disappeared and Cancer stabilised with evidence of healing in my bones. This past few months have been good, I now wait until Febuary to have another scan to see if treatment is still working. 

Now that I have brought you up to date with my Cancer Journey  you can follow with me from now on. By the way I hope my grammar will get be better ha ha…. because of the radiotherapy to the brain I get confusion and balance issues which it also affects my ability to communicate sometimes.

I have tried to remain positive throughout this whole experience and hopefully will continue to do so. Please keep following me and hopefully it will help you and anyone touched by Cancer!!

March – April 2016

In March I was referred to as I called him the lung doctor, as my breathing was getting increasingly difficult. After I seen him He told me I had a plural effusion, fluid in the plural of the lung, the cancer had created this. It meant initially getting it drained. During the month of March and April I had my lung drained numerous times and was once hospitalised due to oxygen levels being low. Also during these months I started chemotherapy, once per week every week for 18 weeks. 

3 weeks in I took an allergic reaction and ended up in hospital for a week. An ambulance had to be called to my house as my face had swollen up and the reaction to the chemotherapy had recalled the symptoms of radiotherapy on my neck I had in 2012. 

According to the doctors this is a very rare event. That sounds typical for me “RARE” at this time I really did think I was going to die!​

Things don’t get any better as I move on to the next few months May – June…….

​

​

Journey Timeline

I thought I would let you see the timeline from diagnosis and how the journey has been so far.

• February 2012 – Found lump in neck, ignored it as a spot (wrong decision) advice go and see doctor about any lumps ASAP!

• April 2012 – Met GP to investigate lump as I was getting concerned, Doctor thought it might be a cyst

• April 2012 – GP sent me to hospital next to investigate 

• April 2012 – Doctor in hospital asked was there any cancer in family, the sound at that word cancer felt like someone shot me in the head.

• July 2012 – Had biopsy on lump and then went on a prearranged holiday for a month. Didn’t want to cancel holiday as thought well this could my last!!

• August 2012 – Result of biopsy inconclusive Salivary duct carcinoma 

• September 2012 – Seen various Doctors, arranged surgery to remove lump

• October 2012 – Surgery to remove lump, as you can by photos

• October 2012 – Result High grade Salivary duct carcinoma, a rare cancer with no cure, only hope that surgery and radiotherapy keep it away and there is no spread.

• November 2012 – Second surgery as some lymph nodes effected, removed 37 lymph nodes, jugular vein and trapezius muscle. Result, cancer had spread to these areas

• November 2012 – Further scans showed no sign of Cancer anywhere else in body, had hope at that stage I was effectively cured, was I wrong! Doctor told me if it comes back it will do within 5 years, was he right

• January/ February  2013 – 35 weeks Radiotherapy to kill any remaining cells in my neck. Hospitalised numerous times, lost 4 stone due to can’t eat and many problems to many to write about. Radiotherapy to the head area is worse thing ever!!

• May 2013 – Thought journey was over time to get back to life and work. Started building life up again. Always suffered from fatigue.

• August 2015 – Chapter 2! Started to cough, met GP, went through X-rays, antibiotics, no change. I continued to have breathing problems 

• January 2016 – Met consultant, scans, tests, result widespread coverage of my spine, ribs, pelvis and shoulder blades

• March 2016 – Started Chemotherapy, numerous hospitalisations over coming months from side effects and tests

• May 2016 – Lung surgery result cancer pleural of lung, had pleudisis 

• June/ July 2016 – Found 5 tumours in Brain had 2 weeks Radiotherapy 

• August 2016 – Started clinical Trial for new treatment, hormone therapy

• September 2016/ January 2017 – Diease stable, still suffering side and gained 2.5 st, but longest stretch I’ve had of stability 

Well there it is a brief summary of my journey so far!