Light from Year of Hell

This month 1 year ago I was told, I had a maximum of 3 months to live!

 How wrong were they?!
I have been through death, life, everything in between, to near insanity. 

But do you know what! “IM STILL HERE” 

This is the light “IM STILL HERE” and as long as I’m still here I will continue to fight this awful disease. 

A disease that robs you of everything!
Richard🤜

It’s been a while

My posts are getting further apart, not intentionally but because I haven’t had time! This has been a busy week, between recovering from hospital to attending my son’s Sports Awards. 

I have to permanently put reminders in my phone now because my memory is shocking!  Even to write this post I have look at my calendar to remind myself.  At the beginning of the week I had my regular exercise session with the Marie Curie Physiotherapist, although here was more talking😊

Wednesday I went out for coffee with and old work colleague and on Thursday I attended a follow up hospital appointment regarding my eye. He said all is fine and I will always have a little fluid in the retina due to the cancer. 

Friday night was the highlight, totally unexpected my son won the Belfast  Junior  Sports personality 2017. I was so proud and something that I never thought I would live to see.

Today is Mother’s Day ! I asked my Mum what would like to do? She said nothing just that you are here. That’s it, isn’t really, it’s not about cards, or chocolate but about family and being together at anytime of the year!

Excruciating Mental Pain.

I haven’t posted in some time which I apologise to those of you who follow. Thank you it means a lot that you are interested in my Journey. 

Over the past couple of weeks I have had a bad time with hospitalisation and severe mental breakdown. Everyday living with the mental torture of when the exact time you are going to die is so painful it goes beyond trying to explain. 

I was hospitalised last week for a few days as I literally thought a was going to die. When I went to hospital last week to receive my treatment the nurse asked if I was ok because I was uneasy on my feet and she thought I was going collapse on her. She sat me down to rest and took my blood pressure. The machine wouldnt read, I was getting pins and needles in my hands and arms. 

She tried to take my blood but couldn’t get any veins. Right away she took me into a side ward where the doctor met me. The doctor admitted me immediately, and within minutes I had a drip up for dehydration and increases in my steroids as over a period of 8 weeks I had been reducing to stop them. 

My appetite hit rock bottom I was extreme pain and did think that was the end. I was in for a couple of days, inconveniently over a period of time when my son had a big swimming competition, although looking back it did take my mind of thing twittting etc….

I had an MRI scan on my brain and it turns out everything is stable and the reason for my symptoms was reducing steroids to nothing. I am now on a new regime of steroids to keep a maintenance level that will keep me steady. I am feeling better but not 100% yet. It will take next 3 weeks to get to a good level. 

I will try to update my blog more often as I stabilise. Thank you for your time

Painful Week

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. As you know I have been reducing the steriods to the point now that I no longer take them. I don’t know if the steriods where helping with pain but this past week or two I have been in agony. 

My back, hips and ribs are so painful I’ve had to increase my pain killers. I will see the consultant on Thursday to have my treatment and I will inform her about my pain and take advise on how to control it. 

I’ve also been sleeping a lot again in the afternoons. They exercise improves things but at moment I can’t support that as it seems to make me more tired and painful.

It is painful for me to say this as I have promoted exercise all my life, but at this moment and time I think I need more advice on how to manage things